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Category: SickHumor
Message: If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes for minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!
Submitted By: stooge

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Christmas Away Messages

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Ahhhh christmas
I want:
~ a cell phone
~ a volvo
~ a life time supply of candy
~ my own phone line
~ a kitty
~ a puppy
~ my own room
~ a date with jeremy sumpter
~ a new tv
~ a xbox
WAIT
scratch all that
all I want for christmas baby
IS YOU<3
  • Currently 2.71/5
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2.7/5 (17 votes)

Submitted by: mandiie54
Now kids, the presents that all of you exchange on Christmas
Represents the gifts that baby Jesus received the night He was born
He got all His presents from three wise men
Who followed a star
And walked a long, long way to the stable
So everytime you tear open one of your presents
Think about that baby and say
"Happy birthday Jesus
I'll open this one for You"
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (87 votes)

Submitted by: troublejr88
For christmas this year,all I thought I wanted was a "certain someone".But hey,frack that,I'd rather have an IPod because IPods will always love you and will never leave you.
  • Currently 1.69/5
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1.7/5 (13 votes)

Submitted by: ilovenemo541
Christmas is the time of year where all your money goes down the drain and supposedly its Santas faullt!
  • Currently 2.50/5
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2.5/5 (8 votes)

Submitted by: ????
Dear Santa:
Define naughty....
  • Currently 2.95/5
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3.0/5 (22 votes)

Submitted by: NiKkIkOaLa90
Why is santa so fat you ask? Well it 's because he goes all around the world eating cookies . Especially from you %n . You're not helping!
  • Currently 3.09/5
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3.1/5 (11 votes)

Submitted by: turtleandrea
/\ Merry
//\\ Christmas
///\\\ Leave a Message
////\\\\ (or a present)
  • Currently 2.75/5
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2.8/5 (12 votes)

Submitted by: 
Gone christmas shopping
naughty nice
%n me!!
  • Currently 1.47/5
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1.5/5 (19 votes)

Submitted by: AlLiSoNm692
I asked santa for a bike, I got it.
I asked santa for a dog, I got one.
I asked santa for you and he called me a ho! but the next day he said sorry he cough it all up ho ho ho
  • Currently 2.00/5
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2.0/5 (8 votes)

Submitted by: yeah
I love Christmas!! It's the only holiday that an old fat man comes down your fireplace, with a sack of toys to give you!!! Plus he eats all your cookies too!!!
  • Currently 1.47/5
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1.5/5 (15 votes)

Submitted by: blondiibabii93
Don't ask me what I want for christmas..because all I want is YOU!!
I love u
  • Currently 2.09/5
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2.1/5 (11 votes)

Submitted by: i love u
The missle toe is right above,
that usually means we have to kiss,
but I wont wanna cause your my sis
  • Currently 1.80/5
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1.8/5 (10 votes)

Submitted by: miamiluva

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