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Category: Funny
Message: Everyone always has those special, thoughtful, crackup, cleaver away messages that make you laugh or think so hard you are tempted to take it and use it for your own. This is mine. Be back later...
Submitted By: KeesterWeester

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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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One time in an airport a guy accidentally called Chuck Norris "Chick Norris". He explained it was an honest mistake and apologized profusely. Chuck accepted his apology and politely signed an autograph. Nine months later, the guy's wife gave birth to a bearded baby. The guy knew exactly what had happened, and blames nobody but himself.
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (91 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris does not know where you live, but he does know where you will die.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
The phrase "Made by Chuck Norris," is imprinted beneath the surface of China
  • Currently 4.13/5
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4.1/5 (203 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissax
Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month.
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (77 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Brokeback Mountain was just 'The Mountain' before Chuck Norris' roundhouse kicked it.
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: InsrtWttyNmeHre8
Chuck Norris can believe it's not butter.
  • Currently 4.24/5
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4.2/5 (243 votes)

Submitted by: 
The best part of waking up, is not Folgers in your cup, but knowing that Chuck Norris didn't kill you in your sleep.
  • Currently 4.27/5
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4.3/5 (222 votes)

Submitted by: xblackxtears17x
Chuck Norris doesn't get wet, water gets Chuck Norris.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.9/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: FinalFantayFan
Chuck Norris sued NBC because he had already named is left leg "Law" and his right "Order".
  • Currently 3.73/5
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3.7/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: Z
If Chuck Norris is late, time needs to slow the F- down.
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: i_lub_ewe
Chuck norris counted to infinity......twice
  • Currently 4.25/5
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4.2/5 (224 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Superman has Chuck Norris' pajamas
  • Currently 4.21/5
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4.2/5 (204 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx



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