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Category: SickHumor
Message: If you think life is bad now, how would you like to be an egg? You only get laid once. You get eaten once. It takes for minutes to get hard, only to minutes to get soft. You share your box with 11 other guys, but worst of all, the only chick that ever sat on your face was your mom! So cheer up, your life isn't that bad!
Submitted By: stooge

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Chuck Norris Facts, Away Messages

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Chuck Norris floats like a butterfly, stings like a Tomahawk missile...going at Mach 3...right at your face.
  • Currently 3.35/5
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3.3/5 (83 votes)

Submitted by: Li Motosaki
Chuck Norris can spontanously combust...AT WILL.
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (61 votes)

Submitted by: Li Motosaki
Chuck Norris can eat just one Lays potato chip
  • Currently 3.81/5
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3.8/5 (127 votes)

Submitted by: ___DIExROMANTIC
Chuck Norris doesnít sleep...he waits.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
Chuck Norris donates blood to the Red Cross ... just not his own.
  • Currently 4.09/5
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4.1/5 (100 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
If you can see Chuck Norris, he can see you. If you can't see Chuck Norris you may be only seconds away from death.
  • Currently 3.95/5
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3.9/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaruissaxx
Chuck Norris puts the "laugher" in "manslaughter."
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (105 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris owns the greatest Poker Face of all-time. It helped him win the 1983 World Series of Poker despite him holding just a Joker, a Get out of Jail Free Monopoly card, a 2 of clubs, 7 of spades and a green #4 card from the game Uno.
  • Currently 3.93/5
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3.9/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
If you see Chuck Norris crying, he will grant you one wish ... if your wish is dieing.
  • Currently 2.94/5
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2.9/5 (90 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris died 10 years ago, but the grim reaper just didnít have the courage to tell him.
  • Currently 4.26/5
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4.3/5 (175 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck norris sleeps with a nightlight, not because chuck norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of chuck norris.
  • Currently 4.30/5
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4.3/5 (259 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx
Chuck Norris can speak Braille.
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (120 votes)

Submitted by: xxlaurissaxx

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