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Category: Funny
Message: You have reached the reverend (yourscreenname's) confession hotline. Please leave your sin, and I'll get back to you with a penance. Remember that a confession doesn't count unless it's a vivid, detailed, blow-by-blow description of the sin. Thank you.
Submitted By: ncjon118

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Drinking Away Messages

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Officer, I swear there's no blood in my alcohol stream.
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (206 votes)

Submitted by: mikebibbychick10
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (64 votes)

Submitted by: Z
Hey, i'm not drunk you shilly sit!
  • Currently 3.38/5
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3.4/5 (130 votes)

Submitted by: keifier
Error alcoholic : We're sorry but the user you are trying to access is too drunk to answer your IM at this time. Please try again later and maybe he/she will have run out of alcohol by then and will be able to answer your IM.
  • Currently 3.37/5
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3.4/5 (83 votes)

Submitted by: Qtiecat1700
Take me drunk. I am home
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: athleticabx
The doctor says I needed to start drinking 8 to 10 glasses a day, unfortunatley I am having hangovers for this reason...wait he meant water?!
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (60 votes)

Submitted by: MYstuntMANsucks
Some people say that your more fun when your drunk. I'm off to go see if thats true... gone drinking.
  • Currently 3.20/5
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3.2/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: solarcrisisdark
When we drink, we get drunk. when we get drunk we fall asleep. when we fall asleep we commit no sin. when we commit no sin, we go to heaven. sooooo, lets all get drunk and go to heaven O:-) .
  • Currently 3.10/5
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3.1/5 (73 votes)

Submitted by: benmanw10
I'm not as think as you drunk I am!
  • Currently 3.14/5
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3.1/5 (94 votes)

Submitted by: joeboxerbabe44
You call it taking advantage...I call it persausion
  • Currently 3.07/5
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3.1/5 (43 votes)

Submitted by: SexySmidgers
Getting drunk is a skill, alright!?!
  • Currently 2.95/5
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3.0/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: amcpower16
Don't drink and drive...You might hit a bump and spill your drink....Out Partying...Leave a Message....:-D
  • Currently 2.91/5
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2.9/5 (102 votes)

Submitted by: Me again



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