AIM Away Messages
Away Messages
Navigate
Links

Away Message of the Moment

Category: silly
Message: I can talk to dogs, but that doesn't mean that they listen.
Submitted By: NoMeGustaRats

Search

Drinking Away Messages

Sort by: Newest  Ranking  Votes 
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading. -Paul Hornung
  • Currently 3.77/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (30 votes)

Submitted by: Z
FRIENDS WILL TELL YOU NOT TO DRINK, BUT A BEST FRIEND WILL HAND YOU THE BOTTLE SAYING, "CHUG IT BITCH!!"
  • Currently 4.15/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.1/5 (269 votes)

Submitted by: Yo mama how
The doctor says I needed to start drinking 8 to 10 glasses a day, unfortunatley I am having hangovers for this reason...wait he meant water?!
  • Currently 3.33/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.3/5 (60 votes)

Submitted by: MYstuntMANsucks
I don't curse, I don't smoke, and I don't drink alcohol.
Ohh, F**k I left my cigaretts at the bar.
  • Currently 3.61/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.6/5 (125 votes)

Submitted by: 
You call it taking advantage...I call it persausion
  • Currently 3.07/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.1/5 (43 votes)

Submitted by: SexySmidgers
What is the difference between a drunk person and a stoned person when it comes to a stop sign? A drunk person will run right though it and a stoned person will wait for it to turn green!
  • Currently 4.02/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.0/5 (262 votes)

Submitted by: Ash13LeLe
"Real Men of Genius. Today we salute you Mr. Compulsive Away Message Checker. While most people are out actually having fun, you are at home reading about it on your computer screen. Right mouse click, Get Buddy Info, or the little Info box at the bottom of the Buddy List [whichever is faster]. You have people on that list you haven't talked to in years, but you still loyally read their away messages everyday to see what they are up to [borderline stalking]. So, crack open an ice cold Bud Light, Marauder of the Mousepad and don't wander too far from your computer because you never know when someone's away message may change."
  • Currently 4.29/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.3/5 (372 votes)

Submitted by: skiforce99
Life is a waste of time.
Time is a waste of life.
So lets all get wasted,
And have the time of our lives!
  • Currently 3.93/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.9/5 (104 votes)

Submitted by: 
Some people say that you're funnier when you are drunk...I'm out testing to see if that's true.
  • Currently 2.03/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
2.0/5 (61 votes)

Submitted by: solarcriisdark
When you get pulled over and the cop says "Your eyes look red have you been drinking?" repond with "Well officer your eyes look glazed have you been eating doughnuts?"
  • Currently 4.19/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
4.2/5 (275 votes)

Submitted by: 
If quitters never win, and winners never quit, then who came up with "Quit while you're ahead"?
  • Currently 3.63/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.6/5 (64 votes)

Submitted by: Z
To alcohol. The cause of, and solution to, all of life's problems. ~Homer Simpson
  • Currently 3.81/5
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
3.8/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: bigcrash4x

 2 3 4 Next » 
« Home


©2002-2017 Binary Inertia LLC
All rights reserved
We are in no way affiliated with AOL(R)