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Category: Drinking
Message: When we drink, we get drunk. when we get drunk we fall asleep. when we fall asleep we commit no sin. when we commit no sin, we go to heaven. sooooo, lets all get drunk and go to heaven O:-) .
Submitted By: benmanw10

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Funny Away Messages

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I'm not here right now, but if you'd like to reach me on my cell phone... buy me a cell phone.
  • Currently 3.71/5
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3.7/5 (1095 votes)

Submitted by: boddah2k
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a sh*tty outlook on life. If you don't believe me, pulla hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (853 votes)

Submitted by: 
YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But...
If you want to fix your computer, do what these directions tell you:
Type the following into your favorite write program (Microsoft Word, Notepad etc.):
Type an M
Type an I before the M
Make a space after the M
Type a P
Type a D after the P
Type an S right before the P
Type a U Before the P But after the S
Make a Space after the D
Type an R
Type An O BEFORE and AFTER the R
Go back to the begining
Type an A before the S and then make a space
Go to the end
Type an M Before the first O
Go to the middle
Type a T between the S and the U
Type an I inbetween the P and the D
Go to the very end.
Type an N
Now read the code out loud.
Your virus is gone!
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (747 votes)

Submitted by: hahaman821
Say this real fast.
I am we todd did.
Sofa king we todd did.
  • Currently 3.74/5
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3.7/5 (626 votes)

Submitted by: TearsOfMisery
Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
  • Currently 3.60/5
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3.6/5 (390 votes)

Submitted by: 
People are more violently opposed to fur than leather because it's safer to harass rich women than motorcycle gangs.
  • Currently 3.65/5
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3.6/5 (448 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
I'm playing hide n seek with Bin Laden damn he is good! So it might be a while
  • Currently 3.64/5
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3.6/5 (702 votes)

Submitted by: ashley
Having a staring contest with my wall... *BLINK* "dammit!!!!!"
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (719 votes)

Submitted by: ROXYPOP9
Are you mad at me? If not, press Alt+F4.
  • Currently 3.61/5
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3.6/5 (567 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
If you sleep with a girl without protection, you're having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
  • Currently 3.59/5
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3.6/5 (445 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
Let's dicuss right and left... you're right, I left! :-P
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (441 votes)

Submitted by: s214
Right now I'm dancing in front of a full length mirror in spiderman underwear. I could really use some music....
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (291 votes)

Submitted by: wouldn't you like to kno

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