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Category: Thanksgiving
Message: He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
Submitted By: hiperactivachica

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Funny Away Messages

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For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (251 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
I just finished hanging a poster of %n over my bed, and now I am just praying that it will fall down on top of me.
  • Currently 3.30/5
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3.3/5 (204 votes)

Submitted by: phantomz45
I'm in the back yard hunting sharks.
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (221 votes)

Submitted by: VMan25bv
Talking to me while i'm away is like talking to a deaf person and expecting results.
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (205 votes)

Submitted by: Me
A wise monkey never messes with another monkey's monkey.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (142 votes)

Submitted by: NSaNe QuAd RiDeR
I am an evil poptart [::]! I am out collecting sprinkles for my breakfasty self.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (190 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
I'm hearing voices in my head and they don't like you!
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (110 votes)

Submitted by: CMJenn7
I Hate You! You Hate Me! Barney Tried To Harass Me! When He Pulled Down His Pants And Said Lets Play Sorry Barney I'm Not Gay!
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (396 votes)

Submitted by: pixietink
Tickets to a Brittney concert: $54hockey mask: $14a dozen eggs: $3egging America's pop-princess: priceless
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (373 votes)

Submitted by: *TinK*__aka... stupidest!
I need to feed my pet leprechaun, so I can get the gold at the end of the rainbow, so just sit back and relax...This may take a while.....
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (98 votes)

Submitted by: SMC2109
I m a l i t t l e s p a c e d a t t h e m o m e n t b e b a c k w h e n i c a n p u l l m y s e l f b a c k t o g e t h e r
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (257 votes)

Submitted by: nycutie1488
If you go to a costume party at your boss's house, wouldn't you think a good costume would be to dress up like the boss's wife? Trust me, it's not.
  • Currently 3.35/5
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3.3/5 (216 votes)

Submitted by: Moolins

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