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Category: Girl
Message: I'm sweet like sugar,
soft like suede,
but unlike nintendo,
I never get played
Submitted By: resqhero911

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Funny Away Messages

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Procrastination is like masturbation...in the end you just end up screwing yourself.
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (473 votes)

Submitted by: 
I'll be back when I can get my head from between the rail in my stair case.
  • Currently 3.47/5
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3.5/5 (316 votes)

Submitted by: 
Think about it? Will they ever give the Tricks bunny some cereal? " Silly rabbit, tricks are for kids!" or leave the leprochon alone?" they stole me lucky charms!" Life is just not fair! Even the bunnies get screwed!
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (420 votes)

Submitted by: XoxJeSsIe21xoX
My Braces Are Stuck To The Carpet...
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (530 votes)

Submitted by: Livy
Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (484 votes)

Submitted by: Livy
You're not drunk if you can lay on the floor with out holding on...
  • Currently 3.54/5
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3.5/5 (405 votes)

Submitted by: VMan25bv
A rejected invention:Instant water! just add water!
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (278 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
Inventions rejected:fireproof matches
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (231 votes)

Submitted by: skiendog
I am right 90% of the time. So why worry about the other 3%?
  • Currently 3.53/5
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3.5/5 (334 votes)

Submitted by: lumberfoot
Sorry, I only listen to the little voices inside my head...
  • Currently 3.51/5
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3.5/5 (284 votes)

Submitted by: Pinkpanther
His AE shirt ... $35, his A&F shorts ... $48, his GAP boxers ... $12, his Adidas sandals ... $20. All these items on your floor . . . priceless.
  • Currently 3.52/5
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3.5/5 (600 votes)

Submitted by: PetYoDog8
Its not right for people to walk around with there shirts off to show their muscles... I mean you don't see me walking around with my shorts off.....
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (288 votes)

Submitted by: Tommy H 26

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