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Category: Statistics
Message: Impotence is grounds for divorce in 24 American states.
Submitted By: kamaniwana02

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Funny Away Messages

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A husband and wife were moving from Illinois to Florida. The husband left 5 days earlier. He sent an e-mail to his wife when he got to their new home. He accidently typed in the wrong adress, and it was sent to an eldery woman whose husband had just died. The message read:
"Dear my love,
I've just arrived for my destination. Plans are made for your arrival tommorrow.
Love, Your Husband
P.S. It sure is warm down here.
  • Currently 4.35/5
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4.3/5 (1960 votes)

Submitted by: KBizzle2321
Dr. Seuss' lost tounge twister
see if you can do this:
This is this cat
This is is cat
This is how cat
This is to cat
This is keep cat
This is a cat
This is dumbass cat
This is busy cat
This is for cat
This is forty cat
This is seconds cat.
Now go back and read the THIRD word in each line from the top. Betcha you can't resist passing it on.
  • Currently 3.96/5
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4.0/5 (11919 votes)

Submitted by: wzac
When someone annoys you it takes 42 muscles to frown about it but it only takes 4 muscles to extend your arm and punch the crap out of them.
  • Currently 3.99/5
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4.0/5 (4801 votes)

Submitted by: fetterattereich
You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
  • Currently 3.98/5
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4.0/5 (4765 votes)

Submitted by: lilojewel
Sex is a Sensation caused by a Temptation.when a guy sticks his Location in a girls Destination,to Increase population for the next Generation..u get my Explanation or need a Demonstration?!?!
  • Currently 4.02/5
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4.0/5 (572 votes)

Submitted by: iluvdavey1418
How can you keep an idiot busy? Click Here to find out...
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (2173 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
I wanted to kill the sexiest person alive...But suicide's a crime :-/
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (1583 votes)

Submitted by: BluesCluesGrl362
I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. BRB
  • Currently 3.95/5
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3.9/5 (4677 votes)

Submitted by: Sara
Rules of me:
#1. i am always right
#2, just in case i am wrong see rule #1
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (1786 votes)

Submitted by: i aint tellin
The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (1601 votes)

Submitted by: sweet12
10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (956 votes)

Submitted by: DuckyHockey02
I'm having a karate competetion between me and the person on the other side of my mirror. Be back when I win.
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (366 votes)

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