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Category: Christmas
Message: Do you ever wonder if santa claus might be bad? I mean if I ever saw someone coming down my chimney with a bag I'd call the cops, but instead we leave him cookies...whats wrong with this picture?
Submitted By: WOWyouAREsad

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Funny Away Messages

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Aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!
My house is on fire!!!
Must....save....computer....
kinda preoccupied at the moment, please leave message, oh yeah, and call 911, must....save......computer......
  • Currently 2.94/5
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2.9/5 (161 votes)

Submitted by: snookthebook
Dude did u know that a gorilla escaped? Well I didn't either until it knocked on my door, called me a dirty ho, and kicked me in the leg! So right now I am chasin that damn monkey! I'm gonna knock his lights out! Yeah thats what I'm gonna do so chill 4 a bit..!
  • Currently 2.99/5
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3.0/5 (177 votes)

Submitted by: lilstarbaby1205
If you sleep with a girl without protection, you're having sex with everyone your partner had sex with before. So if your girlfriend slept with a guy, who slept with your ex g/f, who you slept with, technically you could be screwing yourself.
  • Currently 3.59/5
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3.6/5 (445 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (653 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
hello %n, im a little busy, if it's an emergency, call 911
  • Currently 2.53/5
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2.5/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: username
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a sh*tty outlook on life. If you don't believe me, pulla hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (853 votes)

Submitted by: 
Is there a reason why you keep on IMing me? Do you need help? There is a program just for you called... Mavis Beacon!
  • Currently 1.64/5
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1.6/5 (269 votes)

Submitted by: P1NKFLAM1NGOZ
This place reeks of evil. Either that, or it's sausage... Nope, I'm pretty sure it's evil.
  • Currently 3.19/5
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3.2/5 (189 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
It's only funny untilsomeone gets hurt...then it's hilarious!!!
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (625 votes)

Submitted by: bombsaway003
Someday my prince will come he just took a wrong turn, got lost, and is to stubborn to ask for directions.
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (633 votes)

Submitted by: mltrack87
Rules of me:
#1. i am always right
#2, just in case i am wrong see rule #1
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (1786 votes)

Submitted by: i aint tellin
Hello, you have reached %n's away message, your message will be answered to in the order in which it was recieved, your message is number 1,645,845 , please hold, your message is important to me.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (161 votes)

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