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Category: Sports
Message: If God played basketball I'd dunk on him thats how good I am, jk leave one I'll get back to you.
Submitted By: imgoodatsoccer67

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Funny Away Messages

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I used to hate it when aunts and grandmas, used to come up to me at weddings and pinch my cheeks and say "Your next" "Your next". Well they stopped doin that crap when i started to do it to them at funerals. BRB
  • Currently 3.95/5
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3.9/5 (4677 votes)

Submitted by: Sara
For Sale: Parachute. Only used once, never opened, small stain.
  • Currently 3.27/5
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3.3/5 (251 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
Tickets to a Brittney concert: $54hockey mask: $14a dozen eggs: $3egging America's pop-princess: priceless
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (373 votes)

Submitted by: *TinK*__aka... stupidest!
I ran into my ex the other day, then I put the car in reverse and ran over him again.
  • Currently 3.85/5
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3.8/5 (1592 votes)

Submitted by: luckyangel5346
How can you keep an idiot busy? Click Here to find out...
  • Currently 3.86/5
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3.9/5 (2173 votes)

Submitted by: sanitysgstd099
You know what pisses me off? People who point at the wrist when asking the time, i know where my watch is buddy where they f**k is yours? I mean do I point at my crotch when I ask where the bathroom is??
  • Currently 3.98/5
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4.0/5 (4765 votes)

Submitted by: lilojewel
The sky was dark, The moon was high, We were alone, just her and I, Her hair was brown, her eyes were too I knew just what she wanted to do, So with my courage I did my best, I placed my handupon her breast, I trembled and shook and felt her heart, Slowly she spread her leags apart, I knew she was ready, But I didnt know how, It was my first try, At milking a cow.
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (1601 votes)

Submitted by: sweet12
Sorry I am being Chased by 6 Penguins and they seem to want my ButterFinger but damnit they can't have it. So I will be back after I have run them over with my Barbie Car.
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (484 votes)

Submitted by: Livy
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
  • Currently 3.55/5
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3.5/5 (781 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
Checking away messages. It's like stalking, but no one knows you are doing it. I even have people's names on my buddy list that I don't know, but I hear they have really good away messages. Some people really put their all into away messages. There are the people who document their every move: "I am taking a shower, but when I get out, I am going to pee, shave, and then iron my pants. Call me if you need me before I go to the mall at 2pm." Then there's the creative one: "I am away from my computer right now." And of course there's that one from the really cool guy: "Yo its friday night, I am drunk, and not sittin up lookin at away messages" Funny how that guy never seems to go idle.
  • Currently 3.81/5
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3.8/5 (1773 votes)

Submitted by: Kara
If you want me to fall for you, you better get something for me to trip over.
  • Currently 3.75/5
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3.7/5 (1027 votes)

Submitted by: Chels
I just finished hanging a poster of %n over my bed, and now I am just praying that it will fall down on top of me.
  • Currently 3.30/5
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3.3/5 (204 votes)

Submitted by: phantomz45

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