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Category: MichaelJackson
Message: What do a Playstation to and Michael Jackson have in common? They're both plastic and little boys turn them on.
Submitted By: dolphinluver50

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Funny Away Messages

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I am on a quest to the deepest darkest corners of my room in search of what some would call "a floor" a long and difficult task awaits me. Wish me luck my friends for a may not return alive.
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (653 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
I'm playing hide n seek with Bin Laden damn he is good! So it might be a while
  • Currently 3.64/5
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3.6/5 (702 votes)

Submitted by: ashley
Having a staring contest with my wall... *BLINK* "dammit!!!!!"
  • Currently 3.63/5
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3.6/5 (719 votes)

Submitted by: ROXYPOP9
YOUR COMPUTER IS NOW INFECTED WITH A BAD VIRUS. But...
If you want to fix your computer, do what these directions tell you:
Type the following into your favorite write program (Microsoft Word, Notepad etc.):
Type an M
Type an I before the M
Make a space after the M
Type a P
Type a D after the P
Type an S right before the P
Type a U Before the P But after the S
Make a Space after the D
Type an R
Type An O BEFORE and AFTER the R
Go back to the begining
Type an A before the S and then make a space
Go to the end
Type an M Before the first O
Go to the middle
Type a T between the S and the U
Type an I inbetween the P and the D
Go to the very end.
Type an N
Now read the code out loud.
Your virus is gone!
  • Currently 3.70/5
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3.7/5 (747 votes)

Submitted by: hahaman821
Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, youre a mile away and you have their shoes. See ya when i get back......
  • Currently 3.66/5
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3.7/5 (767 votes)

Submitted by: 
Never argue w/ an idiot. They drag you down to their level and beat you with expirience. Never argue w/ me, I'll drag you down to my level & beat you with a bat.
  • Currently 3.75/5
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3.7/5 (770 votes)

Submitted by: me
You have just recieved the Amish Computer Virus. Since the Amish don't have computers, it is based on the honor system. So please delete all the files from your computer. Thank you for you cooperation.
  • Currently 3.55/5
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3.5/5 (781 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
Leave a message, and I'll IM you back later.
Leave a SEXY message and I'll IM you back sooner
  • Currently 3.72/5
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3.7/5 (796 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
Take a few chances you wish you had later, live life a little more, fear a little less, and remember, When life gives you lemons, throw them back and tell life to MAKE ITS OWN DAMN LEMoNADE!
  • Currently 3.81/5
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3.8/5 (814 votes)

Submitted by: NoMeGustaRats
Are you aware of the discovery in the human body of a nerve that connects the eyeball to the asshole? It is called the anal optic nerve. It is responsible for giving people a sh*tty outlook on life. If you don't believe me, pulla hair from your ass and see if it doesn't bring a tear to your eye.
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (853 votes)

Submitted by: 
You don't have to be faster than the bear, you just have to be faster than the slowest guy running from the bear.
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (895 votes)

Submitted by: OneiricChicka
10 Reasons to Date a Hockey Player
1. They always wear protection
2. They have great hands
3. They are used to scoring
4. They have great stamina
5. They find the opening and get it in
6. They never miss the target
7. They know how to use their wood
8. They have long sticks
9.They know when to play rough
10. Because baseball players only know how to hit balls.
  • Currently 3.91/5
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3.9/5 (956 votes)

Submitted by: DuckyHockey02

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