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Category: Funny
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Submitted By: ncjon118

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Hanukkah Away Messages

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I am telling you something you probably never knew! I am finally telling you, I am a JEW! Happy Hanukkah!
  • Currently 2.73/5
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2.7/5 (15 votes)

Submitted by: judycutie
Lighting the candles! *lights self on fire* well so much for the 8th candle I gatta run!
  • Currently 1.88/5
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1.9/5 (16 votes)

Submitted by: me
Hanukkah ROCKS! What other time of the year do little children get to use candles and people eat pancakes for dinner?!
  • Currently 3.44/5
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3.4/5 (16 votes)

Submitted by: dangimhot48
Put on your yarmulke its time for Hunnakah!!
  • Currently 1.72/5
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1.7/5 (18 votes)

Submitted by: star gal
Roses are Red,
Violets are blue,
Your just jealous,
'Cause your not a Jew..
  • Currently 3.22/5
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3.2/5 (18 votes)

Submitted by: sHELL YES 92
You know you are a Jew on christmas when:
1)You work and get more money for it
2)After your hard days work you order chinese food
3)You then pick up you food and enjoy with a Dr. Browns soda
4)You catch a movie
5)You sleep
  • Currently 3.11/5
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3.1/5 (18 votes)

Submitted by: 
For years Jewish kids have tried to convince other kids that Hanukkah is just like Christmas but for 8 nights....no one buys it.
  • Currently 2.42/5
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2.4/5 (19 votes)

Submitted by: thegoodbyestare
Drinking my gin and tonica and smoking marijuanica!!! I'll get back to ya as soon as I'm in any shape to do so :-P
  • Currently 2.20/5
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2.2/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: Someone
It's Hanukkah....u know what that means! RIGHT?? it means family,(Presents), Celebration, (Presents), Love, (Presents), Sharing,(Presents) and lastly.....PRESENTS!!!!!
  • Currently 2.85/5
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2.9/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: shortsweetncute8
Why can't we have someone who puts presents under the menorah?!?!
  • Currently 3.50/5
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3.5/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: samsamsamsam
It's hard to be a Jew on Christmas.
My Friends won't let me join in any games..
And I can't sing Christmas songs
Or decorate a Christmas tree..
Or leave water out for Rudolph
'cause there's something wrong with me..
My people don't believe in Jesus Christ's divinity..
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew.. on Christmas.
Hanukkah is nice, but why is it,
That Santa passes over my house every year?
And instead of eating Ham
I have to eat Kosher Lekeesh..
Instead of Silent Night
I'm singing hou-hazch-tou-gavish..
And what the f**k is up
With lighting all these f**king Candles, tell me please?
I'm a Jew, a Lonely Jew..
I'd be merry, but i'm Hebrew.. on Christmas.
Hey Little Boy, I can't help but hear,
You're feeling left out of Christmas Cheer..
But i've come to see that you shouldn't be sad
'Cause this is the one month that you should be glad..
Because it's nice to be a Jew on Christmas
You don't have to deal with the season at all..
You don't have to be on your best behaviour, or give to charity
You don't have to go to grandma's house with your alcoholic family..
And I don't have to sit on some fake Santa's lap
And have him breath his stinky breath on me!
That's right! You're a Jew, a Stylin' Jew..
It'd a good time, to be Hebrew.. on Christmas.
  • Currently 2.85/5
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2.9/5 (20 votes)

Submitted by: FrOm KoRn
Chanukah O Chanukah come light the menorah. Lets have a party we'll all dance the hora. Gather round the table, we'll give you a treat. Dreidles to play with and latkas to eat. And while we are playing, the candles are buring low. One for each night to remind us of days long ago. One for each night to remind us of days long ago. Happy Chanukah ya'll
  • Currently 2.61/5
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2.6/5 (23 votes)

Submitted by: spongebobatswms



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