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Category: Joke
Message: A US Border Patrol Agent catches an illegal alien in the bushes right by the border fence, he pulls him out and says "Sorry, you know the law, you've got to go back across the border right now." The mexican man pleads with them, "No, noooo Senior, I must stay in de USA! Pleeeze!" The Border Patrol Agent thinks to himself, I'm going to make it hard for him and says "Ok, I'll let you stay if you can use 3 english words in a sentence". The Mexican man of course agrees. The Border Patrol Agent tells him, "The 3 words are: Green, Pink and Yellow. Now use them in 1 sentence." The Mexican man thinks really hard for about to minutes, then says, "Hmmm, Ok. The phone, it went Green, Green, Green, I Pink it up and sez Yellow?"
Submitted By: hufflehaire

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Aoccdrnig to a rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoetnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be at the rghit pclae. The rset can be a total mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe.
  • Currently 4.47/5
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4.5/5 (407 votes)

Submitted by: Z
While Im gone, think about these things:
1. If one synchronized swimmer drowns, do they all have to drown?
2. If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
3. Why do they report power outages on TV?
  • Currently 4.18/5
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4.2/5 (822 votes)

Submitted by: phantomz45
Have you ever wondered how we got milk? What makes a person decide, "Hey I think I am gonna go over to that cow and pull on those things hanging down and drink whatever comes out."
  • Currently 4.18/5
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4.2/5 (892 votes)

Submitted by: SOARwife
Who's cruel idea was it to have an "s" in the word, lisp?
  • Currently 4.15/5
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4.2/5 (634 votes)

Submitted by: TimeBomb321
If toast always lands butter-side down, and cats always land on their feet, what happens if you strap toast on the back of a cat and drop it?
  • Currently 4.11/5
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4.1/5 (190 votes)

Submitted by: Benmanw10
Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
  • Currently 4.00/5
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4.0/5 (551 votes)

Submitted by: Chels
You know when you're at a red light and the person next to you moves up a couple inches you are compelled to move forward as well? Are we really making progress towards our destination? "Whew, I thought we were going to be late, but now that I'm nine inches closer I think I'll stop for coffee and a danish!"
  • Currently 4.04/5
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4.0/5 (574 votes)

Submitted by: hockey goose 19
Having a smoking section in eating areas is like having a peeing area in a pool...
  • Currently 4.01/5
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4.0/5 (461 votes)

Submitted by: benmanw10
If a quiz is quizzical. Then what's a test?
A Testical!?!?
  • Currently 3.98/5
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4.0/5 (531 votes)

Submitted by: GiggLeGirL 664
Do fish ever get thirsty? If you stick a sticker on a non stick pan would it stick? Why does it say on childrens tylenol not to operate heavy machinery or vehicles when they are just kids!?
  • Currently 3.99/5
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4.0/5 (266 votes)

Submitted by: ooooook
Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
  • Currently 3.92/5
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3.9/5 (346 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (424 votes)

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