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Category: Drinking
Message: Now I lay me down to sleep with an empty bottle of vodka at my feet if I die before I wake tell my girls I drank it straght.
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Did you notice anyone goin slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going fast than you is a maniac?
  • Currently 3.76/5
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3.8/5 (168 votes)

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If Barbie is so popular, then whey do you have to buy her friends?
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (225 votes)

Submitted by: CHELS
Some people make things happen, some watch while things happen, and some wonder "What happened?"
  • Currently 3.82/5
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3.8/5 (148 votes)

Submitted by: MsDiva4Lyfe42
If I am happy and I know it and my face will surely show it, then why do I still have to clap my hands? What? You don't trust my face?
  • Currently 3.75/5
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3.8/5 (69 votes)

Submitted by: JasonPaul
Since history never stops, when does the future begin?
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (107 votes)

Submitted by: Optimize
Ignorance killed the cat. Curiosity was framed.
  • Currently 3.92/5
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3.9/5 (346 votes)

Submitted by: ncjon118
If con is the opposite of pro, what's the opposite of progress?
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (424 votes)

Submitted by: 
Isn't it scary to know what doctors do for a living is called "practice"?
  • Currently 3.94/5
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3.9/5 (181 votes)

Submitted by: Z
Why do people point to their wrist when they ask what time it is, but they don't point to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
  • Currently 3.92/5
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3.9/5 (411 votes)

Submitted by: ispilledmyjuice
If God sneezed, what would you say?
  • Currently 3.89/5
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3.9/5 (289 votes)

Submitted by: 
If Donald Duck doesnt wear pants, why does he wrap a towel around his waist when he comes out of the shower?!...
  • Currently 3.90/5
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3.9/5 (144 votes)

Submitted by: leeshababe11
If they say TV's so bad for you then why do they have one in every hospital room?
  • Currently 3.93/5
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3.9/5 (299 votes)

Submitted by: OneiricChicka

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