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Category: Friendship
Message: I shave my legs, I sit down to pee. And I can justify any shopping spree.
Don't go to a barber, but a beauty salon. I can get a massage without a hard-on.
I can balance the checkbook, I can pump my own gas. Can talk to my friends, about the size of my ass.
My beauty's a masterpiece, and yes, it takes long. At least I can admit, to others when I'm wrong.
I don't drive in circles, at any cost. And I don't have a problem, admitting I'm lost.
I never forget, an important date. You just gotta deal with it, I'm usually late.
I don't watch movies, with lots of gore. Don't need instant replay, to remember the score.
I won't lose my hair, I don't get jock itch. And just cause I'm assertive, Don't call me a bitch.
Don't say to your friends, Oh yeah, I can get her. In your dreams, my dear, I can do better!
Flowers are okay, But jewelry's best. Look at me you idiot... Not at my chest????
I don't have a problem, With Expressing my feelings. I know when you're lying, You look at the ceiling.
DON'T call me a GIRL , a BABE or a CHICK . I am a WOMAN. Get it?, you DICK!?!
Submitted By: HaCkErS

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Telephone Away Messages

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If your nice you can call me sweety..
if your sweet you can call me honey..
if your hot you better call me!
  • Currently 4.19/5
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4.2/5 (167 votes)

Submitted by: honey123
OMG! I just found out that guys think that girls talk on the phone way too much. That is soooo not true. That is a big sexist comment! Now shut up I'm on the phone...
  • Currently 3.77/5
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3.8/5 (137 votes)

Submitted by: jaw2402
I just got a new cell phone! But I am still trying to figure out how to plug it into the wall.
  • Currently 3.84/5
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3.8/5 (51 votes)

Submitted by: 
Hello. Have you ever tried to talk on the phone and chat on the 'net at the same time? It's actually pretty hard. You can never give enough attention to ONE of them...unfortunately... I'm not giving you any attention. Later...
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (163 votes)

Submitted by: kourtney
I am tangeled up in my phone cord. Wait I have a cordless phone. Be back later.
  • Currently 3.67/5
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3.7/5 (51 votes)

Submitted by: iloveyou55
I'm on the phone talking about YOU!
  • Currently 3.73/5
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3.7/5 (100 votes)

Submitted by: 
Sorry I trpiped over a cordless phone be back when I'm untangled!!!
  • Currently 3.64/5
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3.6/5 (813 votes)

Submitted by: gurty240
Oh thats funny! I just got off the phone with this loser who had the same screen name as you!
  • Currently 3.48/5
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3.5/5 (494 votes)

Submitted by: ilove******0895
Sorry, I'm on the phone because I obviously have a life.
  • Currently 3.47/5
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3.5/5 (346 votes)

Submitted by: Wshottie19
I am talkin on the phone right now and I can't talk and type at the same time...i am not that gifted!
  • Currently 3.47/5
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3.5/5 (76 votes)

Submitted by: Vanillacoke1792
P- pals are always
H- here for you when you're a bit
O- off course and
N- need affection..
E- especially like now
  • Currently 3.52/5
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3.5/5 (82 votes)

Submitted by: NoTears4u291<3
Doo,doo, doo! The Screen name you are trying to reach is unavailable at this time. Please hang up and try again.
  • Currently 3.42/5
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3.4/5 (277 votes)

Submitted by: ange4e

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