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Category: Funny
Message: Why go away from the computer? You want me to go outside?! There are bears outside!!!
Submitted By: GhstBer

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Thanksgiving Away Messages

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He laid her on the table
So white clean and bare.
His forehead wet with beads of sweat
He rubbed her here and there.
He touched her neck and then her breast
And then drooling felt her thigh.
The slit was wet and all was set,
He gave a joyous cry.
The hole was wide... he looked inside
All was dark and murky.
He rubbed his hands and stretched his arms...
And then he stuffed the turkey.
  • Currently 4.13/5
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4.1/5 (116 votes)

Submitted by: hiperactivachica
Turkey: $25.00
Plates (all the works): $35.00
Havin your family over: priceless
  • Currently 2.78/5
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2.8/5 (88 votes)

Submitted by: s214
Last year, after watching too many corny TV shows, my mom asked all of us to say what we were thankful for. My father said he was thankful for his healthy family and his steady job, my little sister said she was thankful for her cat and her friends. I said I was thankful that they didn't cancel Must See TV just because it was Thanksgiving. Everyone laughed at me. Being a year older, I now realize that what I was supposed to do was lie.
  • Currently 3.40/5
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3.4/5 (80 votes)

Submitted by: a big secret
Thanksgiving the day where I'm allowed to skip school, but forced to stay away from the computer and talk to the family.
  • Currently 3.12/5
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3.1/5 (75 votes)

Submitted by: Z
Why don't turkeys eat turkey on Thanksgiving? Because they are already stuffed.
  • Currently 3.32/5
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3.3/5 (62 votes)

Submitted by: jasonr
Thanksgiving-(n.) the only day of the year when you are officially allowed to watch football and eat dinner at the same time
  • Currently 3.33/5
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3.3/5 (60 votes)

Submitted by: cheer0032
Thank God for Thanksgiving... NO SCHOOL
  • Currently 2.76/5
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2.8/5 (59 votes)

Submitted by: J
It's %t ... do you know Where your turkey is?
  • Currently 3.15/5
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3.1/5 (55 votes)

Submitted by: CrAzY LiL KeLs
Turkey: $25
Plates: $10
Canned Cranberry: $2
Having the whole family over: HELL
  • Currently 4.06/5
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4.1/5 (53 votes)

Submitted by: qt8586248
There are only so many hoildays in a year where you can get the whole disfunctional family together under one roof and eat one family member out of house and home... today is one of the those fabulous holidays...
Happy Thanksgiving :-)
  • Currently 2.81/5
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2.8/5 (48 votes)

Submitted by: firegirliest1
~*~SOS~*~
sincerely yours,
-the turkey-
  • Currently 2.85/5
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2.9/5 (48 votes)

Submitted by: tatortot
Hey im either doing one of two things: #1 I'm eating turkey or #2 I'm listening to old people talk.
  • Currently 3.30/5
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3.3/5 (47 votes)

Submitted by: azrider65

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