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Category: Life
Message: Be careful of your thoughts, for your thoughts become your words.
Be careful of your words, for your words become your actions.
Be careful of your actions, for your actions become your habits.
Be careful of your habits, for your habits become your character.
Be careful of your character, for your character becomes your destiny.
Submitted By: JenAnne825

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Useless Away Messages

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*sings* "I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a duck....so kiss my ass...I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a duck......so kiss my ass..." Hey, Don't you see I am in the middle of something very important..Now leave your message and begone! *sings* "I don't wanna be a chicken....I don't wanna be a duck....so kiss my ass"
  • Currently 2.61/5
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2.6/5 (267 votes)

Submitted by: flirtybebe2
Chasing little green midgets in tu-tus around with a rabid turkey sandwich, be back when pigs fly.
  • Currently 3.49/5
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3.5/5 (382 votes)

Submitted by: higingitsemilyPISS
If you are climbing up a tree and the power goes out how many toes can a monkey eat? Zero cats only have 1 tail.
  • Currently 3.12/5
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3.1/5 (232 votes)

Submitted by: Casa Penick
I've got a lovely bunch of coconutsThere they are a-standing in a row...Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head...
  • Currently 3.00/5
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3.0/5 (215 votes)

Submitted by: sendekYO
Hey,I'm a silly peanut who's gonna be turned into peanut butter, and I like noodles. What does this all mean? ...POOF...I'm gone!
  • Currently 2.53/5
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2.5/5 (146 votes)

Submitted by: spoiledrottenva
What is you are riding in your car in florida and a cloud that is shaped like a horse goes by? You get a craving for french fries! But you cant have any french fries because your not in france. where french fries even invented in france?
  • Currently 1.70/5
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1.7/5 (395 votes)

Submitted by: AnGeLfAcE9438821
If you're in a hurricane and a tree falls, what sound does a cow make on the 4th of July in a blizzard?
  • Currently 3.34/5
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3.3/5 (421 votes)

Submitted by: pan0698
You see, the problem here is that my little brother this morning, got his arm caught in the microwave and uh my grandmother dropped acid and she freaked out and hi-jacked a school bus full of penguins so you see it’s kind of a family crisis so…come back later?.
  • Currently 3.79/5
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3.8/5 (908 votes)

Submitted by: Person
I'm running outside under my blanket pretending to be an undercover agent!!
  • Currently 3.83/5
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3.8/5 (896 votes)

Submitted by: GiggLeGirL 664
Dont you wish you knew.
  • Currently 3.62/5
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3.6/5 (644 votes)

Submitted by: 
Not the leprachans again!!! They are back, they are back! Get away! Hide your pets! They are back!
  • Currently 3.05/5
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3.1/5 (196 votes)

Submitted by: Pinkpanther
Watch out for the gopher!!! He will turn you into blue pancakes...
  • Currently 2.87/5
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2.9/5 (151 votes)

Submitted by: GreekCutie036



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